connecting and understanding

 Counselling comes from the verb 'to counsel' - to give advice. In recent times though counselling has become recognised as being the art of listening rather than talking. Active listening is about really being with someone when they need to talk about whatever is going on in their lives at a particular time. It may be about bereavement, work, relationships, depression, just needing a listening ear or trying to work through a particular problem.

If you are having problems a counsellor will go through the issues with and help you to consider your long term plans,to weigh up the positives and the negatives.  

The 'trained' listening ear gives the counsellor the tools they need to help others. Mostly we learn about our own issues so that we don't confuse what we are being told with our own experiences. We also learn about being 'person-centred', unconditional positive regard etc. Sometimes I wonder if these phrases mean anything to the person who is seeking help, but they are useful to the counsellor as it helps to remind us that it is always about the client and not the counsellor

The type of counselling I offer can be described as integrated, dynamic, practical. At the centre are the needs of the client. There is no judgement of the situation or the person that has come for help. I offer counselling as part of the integrated approach that informs my whole practice.

I trained in 'person-centred' counselling and became qualified in 1998. Since then I have developed a technique which helps clients look at their problems from all sides and angles. Sometimes this is enough. With others we decide together on a programme or plan of events to help with the problem. With others, after the initial stages I work with them as a mentor or coach.  My training gave me the foundations to develop an approach which engages with the client and helps them to find the tools they need to move on in their lives. 

Whatever it is 'I am', whatever name I give to what it is - what I offer is less about the 'method' and more about developing a trusting relationship and connecting in a more 'heart-centred' way.  A person who comes for counselling won't know what they will encounter or meet on the path that leads to their understanding and well being, but my role is to share that path with them, and to listen. We work together to negotiate obstacles and make decisions about which direction to take to help them move towards a sense of wholeness and clarity.

     Wholeness helps us look at our shadow self....                                      who think we are, who we have been...

 In finding the wholeness of who we are we can live whole lives.